Just a lil more....maybe

When is enough ....actually enough?

Adieu

Unknown

I feel some type of way right now.... I have all these thoughts and feelings running going through my body...I know where they are coming from, but I don't understand why they are so strong.

I dislike the unknown, the more I sit silent and try to understand these feelings the more I become bothered. It's almost like a nervous feeling. Feels like butterflies in my stomach but I'm not nervous or anxious about anything... I just....don't...know.

Adieu

EXCUSE THE TYPOES

So i really have an issue with broken communication, especially when i'm not trying to persuade you into doing something different than what you already stated but when i'm really trying to get a clear understanding of where your thoughts are. So I'm pissed for starting to feel like I'm being proactive in your kids life and i can make decisions and i can say lets go and lets do. All i want to do is go to Orlando and visit my friends. Why is the first thing you ask well who's gonna watch my son while we are gone? STUPID !!! we will watch your son while we are away and he will have fun and meet new people and visit the water park and be with us. But all i get from you is a NOT GONNA HAPPEN... so hIS grand parents can take him out of town for the weekend and bring him back just before school on Monday, I can watch him everyday of the week after work and get his homework done and food in his belly and in bed on time, and teach him his prayers and go over spelling words and buy him bath toys and make sure he has snacks but to ask for him to come with us and let him come with me to my friends house where there's actually a child there his age .... I get CAUSE I SAID NO....who the fuck you think you talking to? you not my daddy cause i said no is a father sentence and since i'm the same age as you there's no way you're my father so tighten that shit up quick cause next time i wont just be quiet and take into consideration i'm not that little boys biological parent but ill be damned if we bring kids into this picture together and you think that CAUSE I SAID SO SHIT will work then .... Trust and believe bruh i will have a say so and my word will prolly carry more weight (I'M JUST SAYING) ...this is a partnership and all i want to know is why? Can i get that? Hell no cause i'm talking to the world and you just sitting on the couch waiting on me to say i'm ready to go to bed.... how irresponsible are you don't you have work at 8am .... I think ill stay up 2 more hours instead of 30 minutes. (JUST CAUSE I CAN)...

My daddy don't stay here .....

THE CHAMP OUT ...

That moment when...Growth appears

That moment when your shoulders are tight and your heart rate is increasing every second... 

That moment when you begin shooting daggers and using the frown muscles in your face...

That moment when you just need to unleash your wrath... 

That moment when peace becomes you because you realize, your "wrath" will not deescalate the situation, those daggers aren't making the dispute better. 

So you exhale slowly and thank God for helping you to maintain your composure and grace. You realize, the situation is over with and you are proud with how you handled it. 

I say to myself, "Hey! I didn't do/say anything I would regret and at the end of the day this situation was really trivial and doesn't affect my life."

At the end of the day I can live with how I acted and reacted...... But BOY WAS IT HARD! -Growth

Adieu

Who's Driving?

God Funds Purpose

I heard that saying months ago but did not fully understand it until last night. For the past month I have been studying for the GRE to better my chances in getting a fellowship or an assistantship to pursue my Ph.D. Lately I have been secondguessing myself in doing better on this test, I started to think that I made a mistake in making this move and about how I will fund out of state fees for this degree. Last night, I watched a Bible Study session from Nashville where the Bishop mentioned how God Funds Purpose, how if it is His will it is His bill, and that we shouldn't downsize our vision or budget our purpose because we don't have the money. That we should continue to step out on what God is telling you to do. As soon as Bishop said all that I had an "aha" moment. I started thinking about all the things that has happened to me to get me thus far. It began with the professor I want to work with saying he didn't have funds for me to him talking to the dean and finding a fellowship for me to apply for. Next it was having enough savings to even make the move from Nashville to Bryan, TX. I didn't realize it at the time but God IS funding my purpose and there is NO need for me to doubt myself because He is pushing me to success and I'm going after it. Like Bishop said, God is pushing me to break through and the devil comes through to breakdown. I know what my purpose is..I've seen the vision..I know I'm doing what God wants me to do!

Ms. Rita

What Had Happened Was.....

I'm trying to focus on the blessings of 2012, but I can't seem to shake this nagging feeling and these nagging thoughts. I mean this is what I wanted right???? 30% yes lol. I mean these people gossip 24-7, they keep adding more than what it was led on my description would be, but at the same time it's quiet and I don't have people constantly harassing me. But then it's just something about this situation that doesn't feel right in my soul.  The best thing is being able to help people that really need and that are trying to better themselves, and having my own (ample) space. That's what I keep telling myself... then I say am I helping myself? 

No matter how much I keep throwing positives, there's always this lingering Big Gigantic

I'm not getting what I need for licensure but I am gaining new experience. I'm putting my car through it regarding the mileage. I mean I was planning on getting a new car by the middle of this year anyway...but I don't know if Platinum will last that long (fingers crossed).

YALL I DON'T EVEN TAKE PICTURES OF MY SUPERB FASHION IN THE MORNING/AFTERNOON BEFORE I LEAVE.... LOL IT'S THAT DEEP! 

Until the next situation.... Adieu :)

The CHAMP Graduates!!!!

Our sister GRADUATED!!!!

I'm so happy and proud of her, it's been a long road and along the way she's gained and accomplished many things. I know if I asked her what she planned to do next her response would be, "Try to take over the world!" hahaha. Love my friend, I don't know what God has in store for her but I'm sure it's filled with greatness. Now I can't wait for her to move closer to me!


♥Adieu

OMG..I FORGOT ABOUT FASHION

Ok so while blogging about my new job, i just realized now I can do what I loved the most.... dressing up professionally and taking pictures. Now I have a venue to show case them..... Yippie. Every day before Internship I had a photo shoot.
I'm not the typical slacks and blouse chik. In my profession some feel as a therapist they need to dress boring... psh NOT I. I love to keep it exciting and professional. So I can't wait to go shopping (once i get paid a few times lol) and put different things together.

Definitely an upside to all this lololol. JK

♥Adieu

The Verdict is.....

So I heard back from the Kissimmee job and I'll start on the 28th as an Adult Senior Counselor helping those recovering from substance abuse. I'm nervous working with a population that I haven't before, but excited to learn new things. I'm worried that the hours won't count towards my MFT licensure, so I need to find that out ASAP. See when I applied, it said family and youth, but then it seems to only be adults. But I interviewed anyway because I mean at this moment I can't be picky you know.

Now the Tampa job that focuses on going into at-risk family’s homes is soooo down my alley and I could learn so much. I had my 3rd interview on Thursday and it was full of clinical scenarios that I felt very good about. Just made me want to work there more. They want me to do a ride along... I don't know when I can do that, when I don't come back till the 25th and they closed on the 26th and I start the other job on the 28th... Too much going on. I like this job because it pays 2000 a yr. more and I automatically will get a 3000 raise every 6 months for 2 years. They pay for licensure. The only thing is, it's in Tampa and while the hubby is on board to move, we would need a place to stay and find him another job ASAP or else we would essentially be in the same boat we are in now with one income.

I'm starting to think maybe I can talk with the director and see if maybe I can start later than Jan 3. Maybe I can try it again in early summer. It's sad because it seems it would be great and I know the Tampa job is more work: 24hr on call on weekdays, driving as far as 80 miles to visit homes (they reimburse me for it). Court cases etc.

So I think what is best for my family is to remain here and gain a new professional facet. I think it'll be interesting, stressful, overwhelming and great all at once. Hopefully the Tampa job can work something out. If not then it wasn't meant to be. I just hope I’m not mistakenly going left when I should be going right on what God has planned for me.

Time will tell.....

♥Adieu

New Job...Yay????

So yesterday I got the call back from this one place I had applied, interviewed and turned paperwork in for around the beginning of OCT.
Ugh, they want me to start training next week.... What's the problem you ask, well I'll be out of the country for a week with my family. Apparently they only do training once a month 0_o. So they ask, "well can you start this week?" I'm thinking but you just said you only do it once a month soooooooooo how is this possible? Instead I asked if I could return her call tomorrow, so I could have time to figure out some things. She then responds, "Oh is there another job you need to get time off from?" To myself I'm thinking well if that were the case that would be very difficult since you all are calling very last minute.
Anyway.....To myself I'm thinking how can I possibly start this week. I have doctors appts that I need to take Rayna to before we go on vacation since she's been complaining about certain ailments.

Well, I called back today and asked if I could start afterwards....so we'll see.

I don't understand why things are always difficult for me. This is almost the same thing that happened in Gainesville after I graduated and obtained full-time employment. Everything always seems so difficult for me, like there is always a catch, situation or issue. Why can't I just ease into the job and rejoice about my new employment?
I know He has a plan and maybe it's not meant for me to have this job but having two incomes would be great to start the new year.

Oh and I forgot to mention there is also this possibility about this gaining employment in Tampa in January, I have my final phone interview thursday morning. That means relocating...another not so ease slide into employment. lol

Welp, it's in His hands and I trust His decision.

♥Adieu

Howdy From Texas Yall

I made it down to Texas on Tuesday! It has been a long week but I'm finally getting settled and almost done unpacking. On my first day I saw 6 deer from my apartment in the woods area behind it!! Getting a little acquainted with the area, this place kind of reminds me of Gainesville. Now its time to get into school! Oh and received some great encouragement from my priest back in Nashville....

Happy to hear you made it safely. Remember why you are there andmake sure I get in invitation when they give you the title of Dr. Takecare and God bless and know that we are always here when you need us.

Fr. Wildgoose

Making it happen, Ms. Rita

1st Update ....not too happy to report

Well ....if has been about 3 weeks and i have not gained more than my original starting weight, but i have gained back those 3 pounds that i initially lost. It was depressing to know i couldn't keep off those 3 little pounds and i know i said i would report the good and the bad but i really wasn't expecting the bad to come so soon.

I thought the 1st 20 pounds were the easiest to lose cause its water weight and tightening of loose flabby areas but looks like its more of a challenge than expected.

ok so this week i plan on walking 3 miles this week, and cutting out any not fruit drinks. That really means soda and Kool aid lol.... yes i still drink kool aid (don't judge me ). So water and cranberry juice is what i'm looking at ...oh and milk (i'm addicted to it ) ill never stop drinking milk ....EVER!

Wish my luck ....im making it happen

The Champ Out...