?Donde Esta Mi Trabajo?

Seriously… why does it seem as if everyone is working except me? I mean I know that isn’t the case (after many phone calls and social networking sites stating my fellow cohorts are still looking), but it definitely feels as if I’m being black-balled. I just want to improve the minds of couples and individuals. Then I think well maybe God is waiting for me to finally register my practice… since I keep prolonging that aspect of it. I mean I have business cards, savings acct and a website…what am I waiting for… right?! I’m scared (but don’t tell anyone), failure doesn’t smooth over well with me and so I’m always thinking about the best way to go about doing this. What that means is, I’m analyzing it to the fullest degree and then analyzing that. Welp! By the end of September I will have registered something and it’s in God’s hands from there. 

Wish me luck! 

~Adieu

Being mature enough to handle it …..

So I’m currently sitting at my house my boyfriend just got a phone call that caused him to rush out at 11:45pm to go to his son’s mom’s house. I don’t want to say I’m mad at the situation but I do wish I knew a little more about the situation. Like what’s the emergency, why is she calling you so late, why did you feel it was necessary to leave and not tell me what was wrong? Someone else might think I’m over thinking the situation or some may say I’m over reacting and I should be thankful I have a good man who not only has a good relationship with the mother of his children but also has a beautiful heart and will come when ever they need help…. But although I try to fight the feeling I’m still a chick and I know some times women (baby mamma’s)may over use their power to prove a point ,ie. “if I want your man I can get him” and they prove this by making up situation, saying the child is sick every other day , making family events that should include the father if they were together , having photo ops where they take pictures as a family even though….Ahhh

Am I being mean? I mean I know one time before we were and official couple he left me to go to her rescue because her house had been broken into and when she got there he was the first person she called. I mean why? Her parents lived here at that time and her dad is a retired still in shape army/navy man. I mean if I’m in trouble the first person I call is my mom and she lives 7 hrs away …. I just don’t know if I’m feeling insecure cause if that’s what this is I have never been given a reason the feel this way but if I’m justified in feeling this way then I need some answers cause I don’t like to be left in the dark about situations. I like to know and ask questions until I grasp the situation. But how do I ask these questions without feeling like I’m harassing him or condemning him? You know what I mean?

The Champ Out …

Haters or lovers, you decide

So here’s the situation, I changed jobs for the betterment of others lives. No really, if I were to stay, there may have been some black eyes, hurt feeling, and just a lot of fucked up fired people. So I chose for the safety of my stupid staff members to have myself transferred from that particular store. (Yes that was kind of me and thanks for noticing.)

So here’s where my topic comes into play. I’ve been far removed from that store for about 4 months now. And when I say far I mean its 2 minutes from my home and I never driver by or stop and see old co-workers none of that shit, I hate that place. (Loath entirely) had a Grinch moment there but I digress. So I do have a friend who still works there and she keeps her eyes and ears open for my name in people’s mouths. And do you know for me to not be in that place for that length of time I’m still the number one topic of choice. No seriously I’m number one.

I cut my hair to go natural they haven’t seen me nor does anyone there know who my friend on the inside is but everyone there talks about how I lost my mind and shaved my head bald because of the stress of the job. I haven’t stepped one foot in that place in 4 months and my arch nemesis is telling the new girls about how it use to be when I was there, about how I wanted everything perfect, about how I was the bitch that she helped get booted out (not true at all got the whole thing on tape if you want my proof), about how everyone there hated me …. And the list goes on people with the things that have come from this particular person’s mouth about me. And today when I was told about this I laughed to myself in my pimp voice, tee hee , and I said tell her thank you for doing her job. And I meant that from the bottom of my heart.

Yes I said for doing her job. Because she’s a hater, and her job is to spread the hate which in fact shows the love she has for me, or at least for her job as my hater. Come with me, go with me, Stay with me here people. She has to love me to want to share all her memories of me with others, she has to love me to want to continue to keep the memory of me alive even when she knows I will never return, she has to love me to want to tell others about me who have never met me or will never have the pleasure of meeting me. I chuckle to myself at how much this makes sense to me now. She is a hater and she loves her job and I should commend her for doing a job well done because when she talks others listen, and share stores of me in which they unite in their common interest which is the love of hating on me. Oh people you are not ready for this are you.

See no one wants to hate on their own so they have to have people who will agree with them, sympathize with them, maybe even share their same perspective with them, in turn adds to my haters circle which in fact makes me more loved, because I don’t have to do anything to make them think of me, I’m just permanently engraved in the hearts and minds of my haters. Yet they mean nothing to me other than the fact that they keep my memory alive. Yes it almost brings a tear to my eye when I think of it as well. Bottom line is I give haters a reason for being, and in return they love me for it.

The Champ Out....

P.s. now that’s a knee slapper

Seriously hire me...AHORA!

I'm so ready to start working and just starting contributing to my family's income. My friend and I met on Monday to discuss life after graduation and it's like we don't qualify for certain jobs because of our Master's degree (publix, target etc) yet we aren't getting the other jobs because they want more experience or simply because it's so many of us applying to the same places... SUCKS!

So I'm applying back home where the pay is better. I mean I know I've only been out of school for one month now but still I WANNA USE MY DEGREE ASAP.

In the mean time I'll continue to read my books, search everyday for new positions I didn't already apply to and enjoy my freedom before I begin working and going back to school for my Ph.D

Bittersweet...

~Adieu

Ego Stroking

Everyone does it. When you say, “Oh yeah right there right there” and you know it’s not right there, or when he says “who’s pussy is this” and you being the ego stroker you are you say, “It’s yours baby” when in all reality you know it belongs solely to you and only you. But I chuckle because we do it cause in reality we are all people pleaser. We want to make him happy from time to time so we yell a name you breath harder than really necessary and you say I feel it in my stomach when none of these things are really necessary. Not to say this doesn’t happen from time to time but seriously not every guy is boat rocker. IM JUST SAYING

Neyo says it best in his song Mirror, “Baby I love making love in front of the mirror, So that I can watch you enjoying me, Baby tonight let's try in front of the mirror watching ourselves make love Girl why don't we”. This is how men stroke their own egos. They judge themselves without even a word from their partner. They watch their own stroke and your reaction to the stroke which tells if they need to find a new way or if they are killing it. Some men use the mirror in a good way like mentioned before and some men use the mirror as an almost homo-erotic way of making love to themselves but that another topic all together. Using the mirror for your own pleasure is bad. The sexual experience should be enjoyable for both partners. Not just you seeing how much you muscles pop when you thrust or how far away you can be form the pussy when you hitting it from the back. The thing is we all ego stroke, just in my opinion men get a lil more ego stroking in the bed room then women get. But trust and believe women get there ego stroked in others ways.

The champ out…

What to say... what to say?

So, I've wanted to blog for a quite some time now. I kept trying to get my best-friends to join me in this venture, which made it worse lol. Together we were one big ball of indecision. Alas, I've created a blog and now I'm stuck with the dilemma of actually blogging o_0.

With the help of my amigas, I think I'm going to blog about relationships, fashion, sports (whenever football gets with the program) and whatever else my analytical mind comes up with.

So stick with me as I get with the program.... it may be a while. I say so because I'll probably think of a topic, analyze it, then analyze it again, then once more just because and then end up coming to the conclusion that "eh, I don't want to write that." 

~Adieu