That moment when...Growth appears

That moment when your shoulders are tight and your heart rate is increasing every second... 

That moment when you begin shooting daggers and using the frown muscles in your face...

That moment when you just need to unleash your wrath... 

That moment when peace becomes you because you realize, your "wrath" will not deescalate the situation, those daggers aren't making the dispute better. 

So you exhale slowly and thank God for helping you to maintain your composure and grace. You realize, the situation is over with and you are proud with how you handled it. 

I say to myself, "Hey! I didn't do/say anything I would regret and at the end of the day this situation was really trivial and doesn't affect my life."

At the end of the day I can live with how I acted and reacted...... But BOY WAS IT HARD! -Growth

Adieu

Who's Driving?

God Funds Purpose

I heard that saying months ago but did not fully understand it until last night. For the past month I have been studying for the GRE to better my chances in getting a fellowship or an assistantship to pursue my Ph.D. Lately I have been secondguessing myself in doing better on this test, I started to think that I made a mistake in making this move and about how I will fund out of state fees for this degree. Last night, I watched a Bible Study session from Nashville where the Bishop mentioned how God Funds Purpose, how if it is His will it is His bill, and that we shouldn't downsize our vision or budget our purpose because we don't have the money. That we should continue to step out on what God is telling you to do. As soon as Bishop said all that I had an "aha" moment. I started thinking about all the things that has happened to me to get me thus far. It began with the professor I want to work with saying he didn't have funds for me to him talking to the dean and finding a fellowship for me to apply for. Next it was having enough savings to even make the move from Nashville to Bryan, TX. I didn't realize it at the time but God IS funding my purpose and there is NO need for me to doubt myself because He is pushing me to success and I'm going after it. Like Bishop said, God is pushing me to break through and the devil comes through to breakdown. I know what my purpose is..I've seen the vision..I know I'm doing what God wants me to do!

Ms. Rita

What Had Happened Was.....

I'm trying to focus on the blessings of 2012, but I can't seem to shake this nagging feeling and these nagging thoughts. I mean this is what I wanted right???? 30% yes lol. I mean these people gossip 24-7, they keep adding more than what it was led on my description would be, but at the same time it's quiet and I don't have people constantly harassing me. But then it's just something about this situation that doesn't feel right in my soul.  The best thing is being able to help people that really need and that are trying to better themselves, and having my own (ample) space. That's what I keep telling myself... then I say am I helping myself? 

No matter how much I keep throwing positives, there's always this lingering Big Gigantic

I'm not getting what I need for licensure but I am gaining new experience. I'm putting my car through it regarding the mileage. I mean I was planning on getting a new car by the middle of this year anyway...but I don't know if Platinum will last that long (fingers crossed).

YALL I DON'T EVEN TAKE PICTURES OF MY SUPERB FASHION IN THE MORNING/AFTERNOON BEFORE I LEAVE.... LOL IT'S THAT DEEP! 

Until the next situation.... Adieu :)

The CHAMP Graduates!!!!

Our sister GRADUATED!!!!

I'm so happy and proud of her, it's been a long road and along the way she's gained and accomplished many things. I know if I asked her what she planned to do next her response would be, "Try to take over the world!" hahaha. Love my friend, I don't know what God has in store for her but I'm sure it's filled with greatness. Now I can't wait for her to move closer to me!


♥Adieu

OMG..I FORGOT ABOUT FASHION

Ok so while blogging about my new job, i just realized now I can do what I loved the most.... dressing up professionally and taking pictures. Now I have a venue to show case them..... Yippie. Every day before Internship I had a photo shoot.
I'm not the typical slacks and blouse chik. In my profession some feel as a therapist they need to dress boring... psh NOT I. I love to keep it exciting and professional. So I can't wait to go shopping (once i get paid a few times lol) and put different things together.

Definitely an upside to all this lololol. JK

♥Adieu

The Verdict is.....

So I heard back from the Kissimmee job and I'll start on the 28th as an Adult Senior Counselor helping those recovering from substance abuse. I'm nervous working with a population that I haven't before, but excited to learn new things. I'm worried that the hours won't count towards my MFT licensure, so I need to find that out ASAP. See when I applied, it said family and youth, but then it seems to only be adults. But I interviewed anyway because I mean at this moment I can't be picky you know.

Now the Tampa job that focuses on going into at-risk family’s homes is soooo down my alley and I could learn so much. I had my 3rd interview on Thursday and it was full of clinical scenarios that I felt very good about. Just made me want to work there more. They want me to do a ride along... I don't know when I can do that, when I don't come back till the 25th and they closed on the 26th and I start the other job on the 28th... Too much going on. I like this job because it pays 2000 a yr. more and I automatically will get a 3000 raise every 6 months for 2 years. They pay for licensure. The only thing is, it's in Tampa and while the hubby is on board to move, we would need a place to stay and find him another job ASAP or else we would essentially be in the same boat we are in now with one income.

I'm starting to think maybe I can talk with the director and see if maybe I can start later than Jan 3. Maybe I can try it again in early summer. It's sad because it seems it would be great and I know the Tampa job is more work: 24hr on call on weekdays, driving as far as 80 miles to visit homes (they reimburse me for it). Court cases etc.

So I think what is best for my family is to remain here and gain a new professional facet. I think it'll be interesting, stressful, overwhelming and great all at once. Hopefully the Tampa job can work something out. If not then it wasn't meant to be. I just hope I’m not mistakenly going left when I should be going right on what God has planned for me.

Time will tell.....

♥Adieu

New Job...Yay????

So yesterday I got the call back from this one place I had applied, interviewed and turned paperwork in for around the beginning of OCT.
Ugh, they want me to start training next week.... What's the problem you ask, well I'll be out of the country for a week with my family. Apparently they only do training once a month 0_o. So they ask, "well can you start this week?" I'm thinking but you just said you only do it once a month soooooooooo how is this possible? Instead I asked if I could return her call tomorrow, so I could have time to figure out some things. She then responds, "Oh is there another job you need to get time off from?" To myself I'm thinking well if that were the case that would be very difficult since you all are calling very last minute.
Anyway.....To myself I'm thinking how can I possibly start this week. I have doctors appts that I need to take Rayna to before we go on vacation since she's been complaining about certain ailments.

Well, I called back today and asked if I could start afterwards....so we'll see.

I don't understand why things are always difficult for me. This is almost the same thing that happened in Gainesville after I graduated and obtained full-time employment. Everything always seems so difficult for me, like there is always a catch, situation or issue. Why can't I just ease into the job and rejoice about my new employment?
I know He has a plan and maybe it's not meant for me to have this job but having two incomes would be great to start the new year.

Oh and I forgot to mention there is also this possibility about this gaining employment in Tampa in January, I have my final phone interview thursday morning. That means relocating...another not so ease slide into employment. lol

Welp, it's in His hands and I trust His decision.

♥Adieu

Howdy From Texas Yall

I made it down to Texas on Tuesday! It has been a long week but I'm finally getting settled and almost done unpacking. On my first day I saw 6 deer from my apartment in the woods area behind it!! Getting a little acquainted with the area, this place kind of reminds me of Gainesville. Now its time to get into school! Oh and received some great encouragement from my priest back in Nashville....

Happy to hear you made it safely. Remember why you are there andmake sure I get in invitation when they give you the title of Dr. Takecare and God bless and know that we are always here when you need us.

Fr. Wildgoose

Making it happen, Ms. Rita

1st Update ....not too happy to report

Well ....if has been about 3 weeks and i have not gained more than my original starting weight, but i have gained back those 3 pounds that i initially lost. It was depressing to know i couldn't keep off those 3 little pounds and i know i said i would report the good and the bad but i really wasn't expecting the bad to come so soon.

I thought the 1st 20 pounds were the easiest to lose cause its water weight and tightening of loose flabby areas but looks like its more of a challenge than expected.

ok so this week i plan on walking 3 miles this week, and cutting out any not fruit drinks. That really means soda and Kool aid lol.... yes i still drink kool aid (don't judge me ). So water and cranberry juice is what i'm looking at ...oh and milk (i'm addicted to it ) ill never stop drinking milk ....EVER!

Wish my luck ....im making it happen

The Champ Out...

Talk is Cheap!

Sometimes people are all TALK. They say and do stuff only because it sounds good to them. But are they really going to follow through or try to... Psh probably not.

They love the idea of what they said and see it has a grand gesture at times. Then when the time comes 75% of the time they do not follow through and wonder why individuals don't take them seriously when they TALK.

  

I'm more of the silent type, if there's a possibility something won't get done they I won't boast about it or talk up a storm about it. I'm usually silent about things I want/intend on doing until it happens or until I'm in the process of the action.

Understandably so, sometimes no matter how hard you TRY, your TALK won't become reality but the key word here is they TRY.

♥Adieu

Walking By Faith

I always knew I was going to be Dr. Murray, but I was always scared of the process of applying for schools so I always pushed it off. I knew I was going to have to connect with many professors to see if they would want to work with me and if they had room for another graduate student. I think I was more worried about being rejected than anything else. So when I graduated in May, I knew I couldn't prolong it anymore and it was time for me to buckle down and start looking at phD programs. I was looking at professors from schools in the south (because I can't do those north winters lol), but only one professor (at Texas A&M) had me interested in their research where I felt I could contribute, learn from his experience, and expand on my own research. I calmed down my worry and just went for it. I contacted the professor and I was able to setup a meeting with him in late May! I went down there and he showed me around their facilities and answered all of my questions. I loved the atmosphere down there and loved my experience so much I was ready to start the program that second! When I got back to Nashville, I everything that I needed to do to make sure I was getting into that school for the Spring. I even retook the GRE and made sure my application was turned in early enough so I would know as soon as possible especially with my lease ending in November. With my app turned-in in August, it was time for me to play the waiting game....

Here it is late October...Oct 4th I contacted the professor I want to work with to see if he has heard anything and he said he hasn't even seen my application. When he said that I started doubting and worrying that this wasn't going to happen even though this felt so right to me. And I started thinking Oh My God I put all my eggs in one basket what am I going to do if this doesn't plan out. It was just a bad week for me emotionally and I really didn't want to be bothered. But I kept praying about the situation and kept my faith. The professor got back to me the following week to let me know that because of funding he could not take me as a student. I missed what I needed on the GRE by 10pts and knew that him finding funding was going to be hard but I was willing to attend without funding from the school because I knew its where I want to be. You know coming from the week I had before that email you would I'd be crying, back to worrying and doubting, but I wasn't. I called my friends in my field and asked for their feedback on it and received great advice. I realized that I needed to go after all my options before I gave up because like I said this is what I want and I have to go after it.

I replyed to the professors email with all my ideas as to try to get into that school and told him how much I wanted to work and learn from him. He replied and had discussed my case with the dean and said I could apply for fellowships that the school has for students that don't perform well in certain areas and that it would good for me to retake the GRE again (booo lol) and if I get the fellowship than I would start in the Fall and he asked how'd that sound to me. I said it sounded GREAT I still have some hope in getting into this school!

Remember how I said my lease was ending in November, well now I needed to make a decision as to do I go down to Miami and live with the parentals or do I go and move to Texas. By the end of the week (of getting the email from the prof) I made the decision that I would move to College Station, TX! Since I will be taking the GRE again I definitely knew I could not stay in Miami and study for it. When I'm home I always feel like I'm on vacation, I never have that student mindframe. And because I have faith that I will do all the necessary things to get in for the Fall, I might as well be down there. This move feels so right in my heart and I truly believe that God is leading me there for whatever reason and I have no worries or doubt. He has given me peace to let me know that he's in control! And I'm truly thankful for having the support from family and friends on this decision and not looking at me like I'm crazy for going down there (at least no one has said that to me lol)

I'm down to 2 weeks left in Nashville and making the move to College Station (tomorrow I'm actually going down there to look at apartments!!). Been packing and looking at moving companies (since my dad is too old for moving me now lol). Been enjoying my friends and new family that I've gained from the past 2+years I've been here. I'm getting pretty excited, well I've been excited since I've made the decision about this next journey in my life. Excited to see where the Lord is taking me, excited about the new experiences I'll have in Texas (the good & the bad), excited about starting school in the Fall (CLAIMING IT!). I am sad about leaving Nashville I've had great memories here and cherish every moment, I don't even want to think of the tears that will come when I leave :( But until that day comes I'm kicking it and leaving Nashville with a bang!

Still can't believe I'm doing this move.... :-D

Ms. Rita

LOSING 80lbs..... by April 2012

Ok so I have been saying since 2004 I’m gonna lose weight, I’m gonna diet, I’m gonna maintain this weight, now in 2011 I’m exactly 80 pounds heavier than my freshman year of college weight. It is time for a change. So my struggle with my weight is I get depressed because clothes don’t fit me at the stores. When I was in high school I could wear med and large shirts I had a nice shape and I was self conscience but I could fake to the rest of the world but my friends and family knew how I felt about my weight. I constantly compared myself to my friends who were both track stars in their own right, and had higher metabolisms than mine. I was athletic; flag football, cheerleading, basketball. I truly just felt it was my genes to be thick and there was nothing I could do the change it so I just accepted I was gonna be big at the age of 17. In high school I was 180lbs and by graduation I was 200lbs, but I didn’t look it. I had thick thighs nice rounded bottom and a chest I love till this day. I rocked my weight well and I was ok with being 200lbs.

When I entered college I was a volunteer in the gym and I loved it I got the work out and gain hours toward graduation. My goal was to stay this weight throughout college. I was determined not to gain the freshman 15. Then my boyfriend at the time and I were seeing more of each other and I thought the smart thing to do was birth control. Ladies for me this was where it all went wrong. I had an immediate reaction. I gained 25lbs in one semester of school. It hurt too cause I was working out daily (weight lifting and dance team, and swim team )and was still seeing the number go up on the scale. It was depressing and it hurt but I just said I did it to myself so I accepted it and moved on again.

I have gone through many, many downs and set back with my weight but now I have decided I’m gonna get it done. I’m now and 280lbs, yes the first woman to put her real weight out there. My goal is to lose 80lbs by April 19, 2011. Yes I didn’t want to put an ending date on there but I did so it’s real and it’s a goal and I’m going to do this and keep it off. Now I’ll give you my week to week up date and I have set small goals along the way for myself, one of which I have already met. As of Oct.26, 2011 I lost 3lbs in one week…. A small step in the right direction.

The Champ Out…